Why is It that I can never sleep when I'm sick? I know people that sleep 24/7 when they're sick. Well I'm sick and I didnt get any sleep in 2 days. Well actually I slept for one hour, half of it was on my sister's couch, the other half hour was in the car on the way back home. When I finally get to sleep when I'm sick, I always get one of those fevered dreams. You know, those dreams where it seems like the whole universe is saying everything they want to say at once, in your ears. Another thing, when I'm sick, my left eye always seems wider than my right eye. I don't think there's a medical explanation for that, maybe they;re always that way and when Im sick I have so much time on my hands that I actually notice pathetic little details.
For the past 2 weeks my life seemed to crash a thousand little crashes and curl the wrecks into little piles of nothings. I watched them roll and meet at the same spot at my feet. And now that I'm here, I can;t help but to laugh at how all I have left is myself. Everything I thought I had, everything I thought I'd achieved, everything is down there at my feet. And I really don't mind right now. Because things are meant to change, And every once in a while, the blocks you set up to build the wrong thing fall apart on their own, because the foundation was never right in the first place. so here I am, impatiently waiting for something that will point in the right direction.
I had a very fascinating conversation with Shehab E. Ali. which actually made me doubt everything I know. Not because I was convinced by anything he said, oh hell no. But actually because HE was so convinced by it all. I looked him straight in the eye and told him he was wrong about everything he ever stood for, and he didn't even have to think before he shot back "I'm right" at me. Though I'm pretty sure he had no Idea what he was talking about, that's a different story. But what startled me, and brought me to tears, was how sure he was of what he was saying. All of us truly think we're right, and it's very hard for us to believe otherwise. Whatever it is we're thinking, it makes sense to us. That's why it's there. If it doesn't make sense to others, we still think we're right. We know best. We've been through what taught us that we know best. And there's always someone that will disagree. And the scary part is, I could very easily be him. I could live with a thought in my head long enough to never give it a chance to shake itself out of my head.
A pink floyd pin found it's way to me a week ago. And I was surprised at how easily I let it into my life. Very few people have an idea what that pin could mean to me, And I'm keeping it that way. I smile at how easy it was to buy it, I can't say the same about owning it though, that's uncomfortable to say the least.
I've been reading twighlight for the past three weeks, just to figure out why this would be every teenager's favorite book. And I am seriously bored out of my mind. okay, I have to admit that Edward cullen's one charming vampire, but I'd chose fitzwilliam darcy (from pride and prejudice) any day. The eye-crossing part about this whole thing, is bella. I mean seriously, look at Elizabeth (again, a pride and prejudice reference) she's smart, witty, kind, SMART again. seriously, where's the creativity in writing a character like bella. What is so fascinating about a teenage girl that trips more than she talks. And seriously how does the author expect us to believe that they just fell inlove after talking twice. and by the way, VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. back to bella, I don't think a person like her deserves to be loved. It just doesnt make sense, she can't stand on her own two feet, both literally and metaphorically. I guess I'm being harsh on her. This is just my feminist self taking over the keyboard. I guess all of this would've been more tolerable if teenagers had kept their mouths shut about it. Just like the jonas brothers, I actually believe they aren't that bad. What makes them obnoxious is the hype. Enough about that..
And enough from me today, go be your productive selves.
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