Saturday, January 1, 2011

Defying Gravity, Turkey Wings And What I Owe Abdelmenem Bashar

I just walked into the kitchen to get a knife to cut open the pomegranate mom kept for me out of the ones we're sending dad. And I screamed and hit the light switch, because something huge was in the kitchen. It was a turkey, and as soon as I realised that it's just a turkey, I screamed again. And then I realised that it's not even a live turkey (that would've been entertaining though). It was just a turkey, laying there on a tray on the kitchen counter waiting to be cooked tomorrow morning. Guess what, I screamed again.

oh, before I forget, I owe someone some words,
Abdelmenem Bashar, I've postponed this long enough. This is finally you being added to my People of 2010 (which should've been 2009) list. I guess last year I wasn't comfortable enough to really believe that you are more than just a person that "Pushes me beyond my limits" (still, I meant that in the best sense of the word possible). The thing is, I never really thought we'd ever be friends. I thought you'd be one of those people that would argue and disagree with me about everything, and that would be it. But that was when I first met you in 2008. I don't think I'll ever forget the time you sat next to me in HRC's conference and said "I'll sit here, just don't repulse me", it makes me laugh every time I remember it. And I didn't really think there's much to build a friendship on. I really thought you'd disappear after the conference. But surprisingly, two years later, you're in my will. (yes, I added you). And I really wouldn't like to imagine my life without losing at least one bet a month to you, and not paying up. And well, life would be a lot easier if you didn't make me guess everything before you actually told me ages later. But, on the other hand, you did introduce me to *SQUEEZE* (of cyanide and happiness). But seriously, beyond all the inside jokes and the "la2 la2 Ma3leshes", you are still the person who shared two of the roughest months of my life with me. And I guess in a way, having you there made them easier to get through. "Ana? Ana a3da Ganbo" haha.. Somehow we managed to turn rejection from something we both applied to, into an endless Zakeya Zakareya Marathon. So, there you go, this is more like what should've been written in that note a year ago. And I really shouldn't have asked if you'll un-tag yourself, I should've tagged you anyway and when you un-tag yourself I should  have posted it on your wall.

*****
I jumped at midnight again this year, and it felt more real than last year, and the year before it. Last year I jumped thinking that jumping would symbolize running away from every thing I thought I couldn't handle. I remember what it was like the past four or five years every 31st of December. I'd run around all day wondering how I'd walk into the next year with all the baggage I thought I had. What was so important? Guys and crushes and marriage proposals and trivial fights with my parents and some extra weight and things that just seemed like the end of the world. But this year I just jumped, for the sake of jumping. I jumped and I wanted nothing else. And this was probably one of the hardest years of my life, but it's not the worst.
I'm just a day older. I just want to be alive next year, and I want to still see a point in jumping at midnight or defying gravity (Thank You Omar Abhar).

I guess at some point, I'll stop trying to run away from time, because I'll realise that it'll catch up anyway. But for now, I'll just Jump.