"They Tried to Take My Pride, But They Only Took My Father From Me"
Pain and love are overrated. Death and pride however, seem to be too strong for us weak beings to adress in a proper manner.
"Self actualization" - In theory, self actualization comes next right after all other needs.
i say screw that :)
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The E man is in the house. Over and out.
That title makes me sound like I'm in a good mood. But I don't know I really am not. not even close. I just turned on the spell checker... I seriously need some help in that area. I have nothing to say here for some reason. I'm not sure if I should talk about what's bothering me over here.. because Nada might one day decide to actually read this. lol or maybe she wont. the latter makes more sense actually.
"Oh i can see now.. that all of these clouds.. are following me on my desperate endeavor to find my who ever.. who ever she may be" - All time low (remembering Sunday)
I love that song. its like the writer lives in my brain. Not that I'm in a similar situation or anything.. but it's like they've been in my brain and know how disoriented my thoughts can be. And the vocalist sounds perfect singing live. He's younger than i thought though. or maybe when I saw him his voice just sounded younger all of a sudden. And they even covered Rihanna's Umbrella. which kind of reminds me of the time when Nada actually thought I did things that mattered. I was telling her about this ting i wrote.. for the first time in a year and a half.. and she didn't even ask to read it. actually all she said was "la 7awla allah ya rabbi..hehe" and i guess that was referring to the fact that I said that i have no idea what it means.. and when i told her what it was about in details she said "oookay.." the "you're weired" oookay. which again i guess was referring to the fact that i said that I didn't know what the thing i wrote meant. And that oookay thing seems to be her reply to anything i say. and it's kind of weird. because she seemed so angry at me for not being around.. mentally around i mean.. and then it's like she has no interest in anything i have to say. and she seemed interested in listening that one time i exploded about my cousin getting accepted into mass com Cairo university. but then i tried talking to her about my mom and how horrible shes being to me these days.. and she made a "cute" joke about how my bed time lead to my mom saying she wants to kill her self. and I felt like that was a sign to just change the subject. I'm scared. Because I'm trying to claw my way back out of my own head.. but its like she has no idea that some tiny little things she does make me feel like shes hosing me down or into my head again... I guess she doesnt mean any of it. but still.. still.
"we'll never leave this room... Hu Hu Hu HUSH" - Juliet Simms (Hush)
I'm scared.
"Oh i can see now.. that all of these clouds.. are following me on my desperate endeavor to find my who ever.. who ever she may be" - All time low (remembering Sunday)
I love that song. its like the writer lives in my brain. Not that I'm in a similar situation or anything.. but it's like they've been in my brain and know how disoriented my thoughts can be. And the vocalist sounds perfect singing live. He's younger than i thought though. or maybe when I saw him his voice just sounded younger all of a sudden. And they even covered Rihanna's Umbrella. which kind of reminds me of the time when Nada actually thought I did things that mattered. I was telling her about this ting i wrote.. for the first time in a year and a half.. and she didn't even ask to read it. actually all she said was "la 7awla allah ya rabbi..hehe" and i guess that was referring to the fact that I said that i have no idea what it means.. and when i told her what it was about in details she said "oookay.." the "you're weired" oookay. which again i guess was referring to the fact that i said that I didn't know what the thing i wrote meant. And that oookay thing seems to be her reply to anything i say. and it's kind of weird. because she seemed so angry at me for not being around.. mentally around i mean.. and then it's like she has no interest in anything i have to say. and she seemed interested in listening that one time i exploded about my cousin getting accepted into mass com Cairo university. but then i tried talking to her about my mom and how horrible shes being to me these days.. and she made a "cute" joke about how my bed time lead to my mom saying she wants to kill her self. and I felt like that was a sign to just change the subject. I'm scared. Because I'm trying to claw my way back out of my own head.. but its like she has no idea that some tiny little things she does make me feel like shes hosing me down or into my head again... I guess she doesnt mean any of it. but still.. still.
"we'll never leave this room... Hu Hu Hu HUSH" - Juliet Simms (Hush)
I'm scared.
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