Shuffle.

Why isn't it possible to quote instrumentals? It would have made alot of this easier. It was brought to my attention by Eman (yes, me) that my blog posts have been really gloomy for a while now. So I made a playlist, and I put it on shuffle. And I'll let each song change the flow of this post. That won't be easy, because I always have one song playing on repeat for each post. So this should be interesting. Here goes.

I have so much to do this summer, it's crazy. And alot of it is just things to sort out with myself. And even more are things I always wanted to do but never really went through with. And inorder to do them I will have to get one thing sorted out with my parents. Inshaa2 Allah, if they let me go out when I want, I will not die.
Another thing is this band thing I've started with Ahmed Magdy. I need to get used to the fact that I will be getting up on stage and singing infront of other human beings. I'll probably pass out the first couple of times. I wouldn't want to let my band members down. I'm also applying as a secretariat in Almun 2011 inshaa2allah. That'll need another blog post.

That was Snow (hey Oh) - Red hot chilli peppers

I was called judgemental by a really close friend this week. I was also informed that I'm scary. I was also described as a pain in the ass by another friend. "And how could I talk to you if I can feel terror?".
I thought it would be easy to write about this, but it really isnt. Just like it isn't easy for me to talk about it or even think about it.

That was Mad - Ne-yo

I have a friend, lets call him S. He was always the guy who feared commitment, and we always laughed about being almost equally afraid of commitment. He used to call him self a tinman, and he wouldnt stop saying that he had no heart. But he was always okay. And it made sense to me. I was so sure that if he was like that, then it's okay for me to be like that. lets just say he was my hope at proving my theory that you can be happier single than when you're with someone.
All hopes of that went down the drain. He has fallen desperately, dangerously and entirely in love, head over heels, "let's get married now", "I want to my children to look like you", kind of falling in love. and it's not a teenage kind of thing, he's in his twenties and it's serious. I look at him and I know he's happier now, and he's more comfortable with himself. And it scares me.

that was stop this world - Ne-yo

this is a good one =D Who knew james morrison could actually be good? I never really gave him a chance. "And if you stay with me, honestly it's what I want. But if you stay with me, I know I'll hurt you more. So won't you save, save yourself." I'm doubting myself about alot of my choices these days. I'm not sure about anything or anyone anymore. I'm scared of the day I'll wake up and realize that I'm an entirely different person and I'm not even in a better place.

that was Save yourself - james morrison

I had a dream that Julie started talking. She told me that she never recognized me when I visited, and she always thought I was someone else. In the dream I wasn't upset, I was just happy she's out of her coma. I'm tired of people asking me if she's awake. And I'm tired of having to answer them when they ask "why?" If anyone knew why, then everything would be okay now, wouldn't it. What is wrong with you? Why would ou think it's okay to ask such a question like you're asking what time it is.

that was please don't stop the rain - james morrison

I met someone today, I don't really know him, but I've been aware of his existence for a about 3 years now. I'm not attracted to him or anything, and it's nothing like that. But I can't help but to notice that when he smiles everyone looking at him smiles too. And I always smile too. Infact today I was trying to avoid him, because of an awkward encounter we had earlier this year, but as I was trying to walk right past him, he put his leg right infront of me. If I had decided to continue walking and pretending I didn't notice, there was a great chance that I'd trip and fall. And that's never fun, is it. So I stopped and we said our helloes. And I kept thinking that it was a shame that we weren't friends, because I could use more smiling in my life.

That was Hey, Soul sister - Train

enough for today, I'll have to come back for a post about a couple of things here..