Is that What They See?

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! NO! It's a red and blue underwear (xxL) that flew out of your obese neighbour's window.

I feel like that underwear sometimes. Ah, Yes, I just compared myself to an underwear. I feel completely out of place sometimes, and it's like someone else should be doing what I'm trying to do. It should be a bird, and it should be a plane. What if it's not supposed to be me? At some point, this year.. I actually believed with all of my heart that I knew what I was doing. I believed that no one else would know what to do. I knew what to do and it was going to change the world. I was more than a bird and more than a plane. I was more than I ever expected myself to be. That's what I saw. That's what I saw and seeing is believing. I had a purpose. People will thank me. And people will say my name when I'm not in the room and they will smile at how things are, and they will flinch at the thought of things being different.  People will remember who I am long after I am gone, and they will quote me.

But I am not that person today. I am not a bird and I am not a plane. I am that bright red and blue underwear just waiting to get stranded on a tree branch somewhere. Who said that's a bad thing? Atleast I'm still in the air. I am weak because I am human. And I am strong because I have the strength to admit how weak I am at this moment. I still believe that there's a plan for me. I still believe that I was not born to be forgotten in a laundry basket, oh, or worse. I was born to do something and I keep losing track of the variations of the people I could be. I can no longer say that I think things will change "when I grow up". I am eighteen years old. I should vote. I should drive. I should know things. I should know what I can and can not be. I should stop waiting for something to happen, because it IS happening. It's all happening and it's happening without me, whatever it is.

It pains me to see people who still see me as the bird or the plane. And I feel like screaming everytime I'm meeting someone new, because I still talk like someone who is about to change the world. It's all I feel like saying today, it's An UNDERWEAR. It's a freaking Underwear. IT'S AN UNDERWEAR! IT'S AN UNDERWEAR. IT'S AN UNDERWEAR UNTIL IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING ELSE. FOR NOW, IT'S AN UNDERWEAR.

Now, where's that tree branch so I can cling to it until I figure out where I want to go from there?