Say Something, Anything.

I remember a few years ago, I used to fight with my mother and brother almost every single day. And they'd stare at me waiting to say something. I don't remember how it was possible for me to be so... silent. I'd just stand there at stare at them, with the whole world falling apart and rebuilding itself and then falling apart again, in my head and outside of it. I thought that if I kept my mouth shut for long enough, someone will say something that will make everything right again. I was certain that person was not me and was never going to be me. I'd listen to my brother screaming at me to say something, even if it's wrong, he just wanted me to react. I never did, because I had nothing to add. At least if I didn't say anything, I couldn't make things worse, right?

I realise that Dr. Phil is a generally frowned upon reference, but I look up to him, and that's that. And he always asks something. "And how's that working for you?"
Well it never worked back then, and I've stopped trying to make it work.
I've learned that sometimes, saying something, saying anything... is better than silence. Truth will be found in my words even if it's not right there in your face. Courage will be the only thing there in your face.
I'm not the kind of person that has trouble apologizing. Why not say I'm sorry, if it will fix everything?
Why not?

Since my last blog post, I've started three other blog posts, but didn't manage to finish them. The funny thing is, there's never a conclusion to the things a write.. so why couldn't I just click on the Publish Post button and get it over with? I don't know. Maybe every blog post has some kind of end after all. Even if it doesn't look like one.

Am I selfish? Do I come back here every once in a while to write a bunch of stuff about myself? Am I expecting anyone to be interested in any of this?
Not really.

I remember having so much to say when I started this post. I had an amazing day in Encro's session today, I don't think Ive been this proud of myself in a really long time. And proud of the people around me. I also wanted to talk about love. haha, now how often do you see something like that written in one of my blog posts? I also want to talk about the sacrifices that come with any choice anyone ever has to make. I also have a lot to say about indifference, and how it scares me.

but then again, I don't feel like saying anything else.